Self-compassion can help us navigate setbacks

Pursuing our wellness goals can sometimes feel like pedaling uphill, slow and strenuous, but doable. Other times, it feels like we’re pedaling backwards. Despite our effort, intention, and care, the progress we expect doesn’t seem to show up. Or worse, it feels like we’re slipping further away from where we want to be.

This experience is common, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re human. We all hit moments where our momentum stalls or reverses, when our energy dips, when motivation feels flimsy, or when life throws curveballs we didn’t anticipate. That’s when self-compassion can be most powerful.

The bumpy roads we ride

I’ve experienced many ups and downs on my wellness journey. There have been stretches when I felt strong and grounded, and others when nothing seemed to click, no matter how much effort I put in. At times, I’ve been more sensitive to external stressors or internal shifts than I’d like to be, like hormone changes. It can be frustrating to realize that what once worked no longer does, and it’s discouraging to feel like I have to start from scratch with new habits and strategies.

But I’ve also found those moments to be invitations to get curious, to explore, to rediscover. When I stumble on something that moves the dial, even slightly, it feels invigorating. Sometimes it’s a new practice or a mindset shift. Sometimes it’s simply noticing how much my well-being is influenced by a mix of things, both in my control and not. It’s all part of a process of self-learning, tuning the dials, noticing patterns, and finding a flow that supports the life I want to live.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, I want to share a few practices that have helped me stay the course and stay kind to myself in those moments.

Rewire with kindness, not criticism

Our brains are always learning. What we tell ourselves in tough moments matters.

Instead of harsh self-talk, try affirming your strengths:

“I’ve done hard things before.”

“I show up for myself, even when it’s difficult.”

“I’m learning, not failing.”

These are not empty platitudes; they are neural cues. You’re helping your brain build new patterns rooted in resilience, not defeat.

Acknowledge the wins you can’t see

Progress is not always loud or visible. Sometimes it looks like choosing a nourishing meal after a hard day, walking away from a toxic pattern, or simply pausing to breathe. Name these micro-successes. They count. They compound.

Reflect on where you’ve already changed

Even if you’re not yet where you want to be, consider where you’ve been.

• What have you done in the past year that required courage?

• What habits have you shifted, even slightly?

• Where have you shown up differently for yourself or others?

These are signs of capacity. You’re already building the scaffolding for what comes next.

Self-compassion includes your relationships

Another powerful but often overlooked aspect of self-compassion is paying attention to who you surround yourself with as you pursue your wellness goals. The people in our lives—friends, family, coworkers, even online communities—can have a significant influence on how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible.

Are the voices around you encouraging, supportive, and aligned with your values? Or do they subtly (or not-so-subtly) chip away at your confidence or self-worth?

Practicing self-compassion sometimes means setting boundaries with people who drain your energy or dismiss your efforts, and intentionally building a network of kind, caring, and truly supportive individuals. You deserve to be surrounded by people who see your potential, respect your pace, and remind you of your strength, especially on the days you forget it yourself.

Redefine progress

Wellness is rarely linear. Sometimes, holding steady is progress. So is taking a rest. So is getting back up again.

When your goals feel distant, allow yourself to recalibrate. Maybe your goal isn’t a number or a milestone right now, but a feeling: grounded, connected, hopeful. That’s still a direction worth pedaling toward.

Self-compassion means offering yourself the kind of support that sustains change. It’s what helps you keep going when willpower wanes and results aren’t immediate. And sometimes, it’s what helps you find your way back to the light.